Jaa Says No to a Diet

by Melissa
(Vancouver, BC)

Jaala went to the doctor. Whatever she has been doing lately, he is fairly pleased. Ideally, she should weigh about 25 pounds less, but right now he is just so happy with the improvement in her health, he is not going to complain too much. Her hubby, on the other hand, is not at all that thrilled. He has been hinting and not all that subtly that he would be happier if she would go on a diet. She has been hinting with even less subtly that she would be happy if he would back off of a high cliff.

The weight is just the tip of the iceberg between those two. The foundation of that iceberg is Jaa’s motorcycle. He never wanted her to have one. He fought her every step of the way. And, every now and then, there are some passive aggressive moments between them and by them I mean Jaa’s bike and her husband. He wouldn’t dare pull that stuff on her. He backed into her bike one day- claiming he did not see it there. One day all of her saddle bags were mysteriously removed. Her bike plates have come up missing a time or two only to show up a day or two later. She knows it is him- and she does her share of devious things back. He makes her mad, but he knows how far to push her, and never pushes her any farther.

So, she comes home from the doctor, the smile on her face. She pats the seat of her bike, her old friend and the reason that she has had a serious improvement in her blood pressure. Every time that that man or the other pains in her life start getting to her, she hops on her bike and takes a long and soul stirring ride. Here lately, she has been on the motorcycle more than she has been off of it. He can growl about her weight all that he wants; it won’t change a thing.

If she cared what he thought about her, she might be upset. If she thought that his opinion mattered, she would consider a diet. And while they may have started fighting about the bike itself, it wasn’t the only thing that was wrong with their marriage- it was only the concrete evidence of what he always feared: Jaa is her own person, an independent creature beyond his control. She is not just his wife- and if things keep going in this direction, she won’t be his wife at all.

When she is ready and not a day sooner, she will find a diet to follow. For now, she is turning to her motorcycle to keep herself calmer and more relaxed, and to keep her blood pressure down. She will lose weight not to please that man, but so that she can be healthy for herself, for her children and for the friends who all dearly love her.

Comments for Jaa Says No to a Diet

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Oct 20, 2010
What My Grandma Told Me!
by: Sassy2731

Well Jaa I'll tell you what my Grandma told me when I was 15 yrs old. "All men are a__holes, God just created faces to tell them all apart!" Everytime I get mad at my hubby or upset with him, I just remember what she told me all those years ago. Then I get a smile on my face. I've been married for almost 33 years now and that little quote has made me smile many times. I have yet to meet a women that disagrees with the statement. The wind therapy always helps too! It gives me my time to think and not listen to anything but the wind. I have never needed any other therapist either! Oh yeah she also told me that when you get made or upset just go get a broom and beat the hell out of your blanket hanging on the clothesline. Since I don't have a clothes line, a bed works well also. Or anything you can beat with a broom (ground, tree or whatever you can't hurt). Oh yeah tell him to go get his own motorcycle and get some wind therapy himself. lol

Oct 20, 2010
by: Rene L

I'm a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and do a lot of work with couples. It sounds like you and your husband might benefit from seeing one. Sounds like more for that kind of forum, and as you have already identified, your motorcycle riding is just one of the symptoms of larger issues between the two of you.

Good luck, with your marriage and your riding : ).

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