How to confront a fellow rider?

by WHat to DO?

I'm a rider in my 3rd season. I have a friend that's been riding a bit longer than I have, but she still rides like a noob. That's where it gets complicated!!! I feel like because she's been a rider longer than I have, if I confronted her about it, she'll get offended.

She rides slower than the traffic on the freeway and because I'm riding behind, I'm at risk. And when coming up to semi-trucks, she hesitates. And when she DOES pass them, she stays by their side for quite awhile, I never pass semi-trucks until she has completely passed them!
On the freeway, when others are signaling to get into our lane, she literally DOES NOT see their signaling and rides into their blind spot and stays there!

Due to the way she rides, it finally caught up with me! A semi-truck kicked up a rock size of a baseball and cracked my bikes windshield, it barely missed my head.

I have decided to call it quits riding with her. But the way I see it, its gonna catch up to her they way she rides on the freeway. I know if I don't point these things out, she will get hurt. Besides, don't we all have something to learn no matter how long of a rider we've been?

Comments for How to confront a fellow rider?

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Aug 17, 2013
read it
by: CandyKD

open ur computer or laptop to all of these comments
and tell her
OMG you have got to read this.
see if she can put 2 and 2 together

Aug 15, 2013
Tell her
by: Patti

As a motorcyclist, you have an obligation to tell her about her unsafe riding practices. I know it's hard to tell her without sounding confrontational, but it's better than someone getting hurt or killed. Give her examples of why her habits can be harmful. My husband used to ride slow on the freeway until I pointed out gently that car drivers were getting upset and cutting us off abruptly, either in front of or between us (I usually follow, since he has the GPS). He now rides at least to the speed of traffic. Mention to her about the dangers of trucks' blind spots which, in turn, caused your windshield to be damaged. If you will no longer ride with her, she'll want to know why anyways, so you might as well be straight with her. She may not like what she hears at first, but she should respect you for being honest with her. All motorcyclists will benefit from educating others about motorcycle safety, from insurance to how nonriders perceive us. Good luck!

Aug 15, 2013
by: Anonymous

Does she do the same things when driving a car too? If so there's not a lot you can do - some people are just lousy drivers.

Aug 15, 2013
One more thing
by: Anonymous

There is one thing I want to add to this good advice here. If you're going to bring it up, bring it up when you're not riding or getting ready to go riding. Pick a time when she's not likely to get defensive about her riding skills, like when you have her over for dinner or something. And again, don't phrase it like you're attacking her. Maybe offer to take some classes with her, or watch some videos with her, because you both have a lot to improve on (even if that's not true) :-)

Aug 15, 2013
group riding
by: Nana

Number of years riding has nothing to do with being a good group rider. We have men in our group who have been riding for years that never took the MSF course and have very poor group riding habits. And they don't think they need any education because "they've been riding for years!"

I always try to position myself towards the front of any group and I only ride immediately around other riders that I know and trust.

I think you need to either take the lead, or gently explain how her riding is impacting you. She might take offense, but at least you have been responsible to bring it to her attention.

Aug 15, 2013
What to do
by: Jeanette

If this is a good friend I would definetly talk to her...If it were me I would share the ride like a pro dvd series as they go through how to ride in different situations and even talk about safe riding in a group.
I wish everyone would watch these or take that course because I am horrified and pray a lot when I ride in a group. I find many riders have no clue how dangerouse their bad habits are to themselves and others.
Riding is awesome, but it is not a sport for the timid.. Timid riders cause accidents. (not that you should be overly agressive either)If you are going to ride with other people you owe it to them to know what you are doing... It is too dangerous otherwise.
You can get those dvd's online or watch some of the stuff on youtube...
Whatever you decide, I think you have to tell her or you may feel some resposiblility if something happens because of it...If she gets upset you just have to let her know it is because you want her to be safe and then let her chew on it for a while... Good Luck

Aug 15, 2013
Inform rather than confront
by: Mrstarzan

Your safety is more important than your friend's feelings. Outline the areas of your concern to her just the way you did to us. Especially, relate it to how it affects you. This way you are not attacking her. Let her know that since she has been riding longer you realize she has just gotten into some habits that you find unsafe. Maybe you can "sandwich" at the beginning and the end some things you think she does very well at while riding. Suggest that you lead so she can see the difference. If she won't go for that, politely tell her you can't ride with her.

Is giving her a MSC gift certificate a possibility? Or asking her to take an advance course with you?

Aug 15, 2013
Defensive riding
by: Lynn - FL

If she is a good friend, you REALLY need to tell her in a nice way. Also, suggest you lead the ride. Since you have decided not to ride with her, what do you have to lose? You could save her life!

I consider assertive riding to be my safest way to ride. As you said, don't linger in blind spots, get around trucks quickly & assess the intersections like you are invisible to the cagers.

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