Any Advice?

Just finished my course and write my exam next week. I don't have a bike and I really wanted to practice so I convinced my husband to lend me his in a parking lot. I ended up stalling it in second cause I had slowed too much and between the jerk of stalling and the fact that I was on tip toes. I very slowly fell and I could not stop it. I feel sooooo bad because the clutch has broken off at the end. My husband is convinced I am a danger and should not ride period! He wants me to try to get a refund from the course to pay for the damage .

I never dropped the bike in the course but it was lighter.

I feel terrible. Any advice?

Comments for Any Advice?

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Aug 09, 2011
Newbie Rider
by: Shannon

Hi! I am a very newbie rider myself. While I don't think you want to get a new husband, I myself had to wait until I was single to get my license. Every man I dated kept telling me they would get angry if I got a bike. So, here I am, single, got my license and am getting a Suzuki GZ250 to run around the neighborhood to get used to riding. I know I will outgrow it quickly, but it only cost me $1500 (plus my right arm for tax, tag and title... LOL) so if i drop it I won't be totally devistated. Plus, it was the same bike I used to take the course with so I am at least familar with the fit. Good luck with it all :) Do it on your own, its a much better feeling.

Aug 08, 2011
Better fitting bike
by: Dawn

Bikes just like peope come in different sizes for a reason. My 6'3 hubby can barely tuck his knees under the handlebars of my Shadow. And I tippy toe the ground on his Harley.

His bike was so obviously HIS, not yours. I would suggest getting a really cheap small starter bike that fits YOU. Pass the course, get your endorsement and if you have money of your own, buy the replacement part for his bike, and I agree with the gift card to "relax" him. Or hot make up sex whatever works best for you :)

But if you really want to ride, you have to find a way to prove to him you aren't a hazard. I've been there, they are hard wired to protect. You have to show them you don't need protection, but companionship, and maybe tips if he can be helpful without being condescending.

My hubby explained it to me this way... I wasn't allowed to ride (or touch) his Harley because it would be like taking someone who drove a Yugo (I know I'm dating myself) and tossing them into the cab of an 18 wheeler and expecting them to know how to manage. Just because his Harley had 2 wheels and a clutch like my Shadow, didn't mean I was equipped to handle it.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Aug 04, 2011
by: Lynn - Florida

Just like falling off a horse - you need to get back up and try again. Just maybe on a different horse, I mean bike, this time.

Aug 04, 2011
He Knew the Risk
by: Cindy

Your husband knew the risk that his bike might go down. He's probably more angry with himself than anything/anyone else for loaning his bike. I'm concerned about this angry streak, and unreasonable expectations for ANY new rider.

I went from the class 250's (I dropped it once in the class despite it's small size) to a Kawasaki Vulcan 500 (a recommended bike for beginners) and managed to drop that as well. It takes some time to get used to the increased weight and dynamics of a bike- no matter what the size. I never dropped a bike going more than 4 miles an hour. It's that slow speed balance and turning that trips me up, although I've gotten better.

I would recommend offering to pay for his damage, and get him a gift card for chill-out therapy After all, a bike is nice, but it is a thing- your riding safety is most important.

Next, look around to purchase a used bike of your own(I've noticed many along the roadsides). That will get you lots of fairly inexpensive experience on a "training" bike. After you have more experience and feel more confident, look for that special bike. Best Wishes!

Aug 04, 2011
Ditto the ditto!! :D
by: Martinique

I also have to agree with Ev! Haha!

But seriously, I got my license three years ago, but it never worked out for me to get a bike. Then I started dating my current boyfriend, who actually owns six motorcycles, all for varying purposes. I'd planned on spending around $3000 for a road bicycle right as we started dating, and ended up buying a Ninja 650R instead ($3200). Spent two days in the parking lot, I convinced him I was ready for the street, and we headed out, only for me to crash six miles later. Broke my ankle, bent my forks, both me and the bike pretty rashed up. I'm sure he felt a little guilty, because it was a very curvy road, but I never in the least blamed him.

Okay, back on point. He wants to protect you. He also wants to protect his motorcycle. I've been dating Larkin for over 6 months now, and I just recently got to SIT on some of his motorcycles, haha. I've joked about him letting me take them out for a spin, but he's never bitten. And mind you, with my six months of experience, I've logged over 8000 street miles, six track days, and I'm now an Intermediate rider on the track. At this pace, I'll be getting my racing license early next season and racing for 2012. He wants me to get an in-line 600cc bike, because he feels I need to have some more power (110hp compared to the 64hp my bike pushes out). He has one, and I've been trying to convince him to let me ride it at our next track day this weekend. It cost him $1500 to buy it, its pretty beat up, but he still is iffy to let me take it out for a spin.

Bottom line, if riding a motorcycle is something you need to do WITHOUT the hubby, then do it. There is no great freedom. If you want to do it, continue to pursue your dreams and goals. People crash. I had a second crash a month after I got back on my bike after we'd both healed. And I still got back on. I'm an amazing rider now, my bf (who races CCS) is duly impressed by my advancement and skills. And it wasn't just tipping it over in a parking lot. I full on crashed. So if I can come back from that and be a great rider, then you can too. Just need to practice. I suggest convincing him to get your own, small, 250cc bike, used, so that if something happens in the parking lot (losing your balance) you won't be so sad if it falls over. But if this is what you want, continue to pursue it. :)

Aug 04, 2011
Ditto! :)
by: Sandra

My knee jerk reaction agrees with Ev! LOL

But seriously, my own husband cannot get used to the idea that I ride my own, and tries to stop me at every opportunity. And I'm not even allowed to sit on his HD Softail. Well I have, and although it's much heavier than my Suzuki Boulevard, I can flat foot his bike, and it balances well beneath me. I am sure I could take his bike without incident, except his own reactions. :)

Some guys have a HUGE protective muscle that they just cannot disengage with rational thought. You are perfectly capable of safely riding a bike - preferably one that you can flat foot! - but capable. It's time to measure your own desire and resolve against his fears for you. Motorcycling did NOT bring the joy and closeness of a shared interest to my own situation, but we struggle to respect each other in spite of our differing opinions.

It isn't about the money - it's about his inability to control the situation of keeping you safe when you engage in a high(er) risk activity. Good luck in your new endeavors...

Aug 04, 2011
Any Advice?
by: Èv

Yeh............get rid of the husband.

What's a clutch worth? $10-20 bucks. Tell him to get over it!!

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