Smart Phone for Bikers

by Melissa
(Vancouver, BC Canada)

iPhone Killer

A Really Smart Phone for Bikers

The talk almost always breaks down to smaller and smaller topics. It starts with the discussion of the bikes of course- who has what, what they used to have, what they would like to have, and all the glorious upgrades and modifications that they would do. Then the talk will move on to accessories and finally, things outside of the bike. Techno doo-dads are always a popular next step in this conversation among friends and strangers alike, and this one was no different. The last comment had been made about bike paint jobs when someone asked to see someone else’s phone. A smart phone, so called because of all of the things that it could do for a person! I have an ex-boyfriend who religiously and faithfully carries around his own, an Iphone. Oh, how I loathed that phone and wished it nothing but evil.

Most of us carry phones- as do most people. It simply makes a lot of sense for bikers to do so, especially if they are fond of long rides on deserted roads, alone or in very small groups. Having a phone is a blessing in many ways. But, it got us all thinking of some of the things that a really smart phone should have for bikers. It quickly turned into an amicable competition for who could come up with the best idea, punctuated by gentle ribbing and great gales of laughter. The perfect example of an old fashioned bull session.

Most phones have the ability to track where we are or where we are going- most of them tell us where food or gas can be found and usually can tell us what the prices are at those places as well. Where is the biker bar, the bike shop or other bike specific info? Why don’t the smart phones have an app for that, we all wondered? What about a smart phone that could alert you to when you are getting wind- or sunburn on your face? How about the app that can automatically let someone know that you are not upright on your bike anymore? Think of it as OnStar for bikes, a beacon of hope in a sea of oops, I did not negotiate that curve very well, did I.

Some of the ideas we bandied about would benefit other people; some were just about us in the room, our bike club in particular and all bike clubs and groups in general. But some of us had secret apps that we wished our smart phone could have- the kind of thoughts that can turn a conversation into a triumphant attempt to one up each other in the styling and trappings of revenge. My idea was simple: I wanted my smart phone to send a signal to a certain big ol’ biker that broke my little heart and kill his Iphone.