If You Haven't Already, Get Comfortable with Counter-Steering
Counter-steering requires pushing the bar in the direction you want to turn. It sounds like it doesn't make sense, but try it when you're going down the road around 35-40 mph or so and you will see that the slightest push will cause your bike to start to lean in that same direction, but you won't be leaning at all. By using counter-steering, you can maintain your center of gravity on the bike and can stay in a more upright position -- you don't have to rely on leaning to switch lanes or go through curves. Let the arm inside the turn do the work. If you do this right, you will have much more control of the bike on bends and curves than you would by simply leaning. After you get comfortable with this method, you will see how using a combination of counter-steering AND leaning will allow you to make the bike go exactly where you want it to, and will take a lot of the jitters out of maneuvering through traffic and turns.
Oh, and don't be afraid to throw your ass into it. Women are built for subtle (and not so subtle) hip movements that are excellent for quick maneuvers. You should be using all parts of your body to control your bike at different times and in different situations, not just your hands and feet.