Confidence Back for Older Woman

by Annie
(New York, NY)

I am 59 and my dream has been to have my own bike and be able to ride, I mean really ride, all the time, to work etc.

Well I received the training, received my license, own now two bikes but my husband wants to sell them because he is afraid I will get hurt. Thus every time I go out on my bike to practice I get hurt.

I am frustrated and feel as if he is selling away my dream. Any suggestions? I would love to be part of a ladies bike club but I need my confidence back.

Comments for Confidence Back for Older Woman

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Apr 26, 2010
I'm with Barb
by: coffeepoet

Not wanting to start a male-bashing spree here, but I agree with Barb - I deal with a husband who HATES the biker culture, thinks bikes are dangerous, etc. What it came down to is control - If I am on my bike, he doesn't have control of me. Doesn't know where I am, can't call me, thinks I'm doing god-knows-what.

I ride a bigger bike than many men (Yamaha Stratoliner) and I get comments once in a while from jerks. They either think I'm lesbian or that it can't be my bike, I'm riding my husband's. All you can do is shrug it all off, and go RIDE!

Apr 20, 2010
Scared but Loving to Ride
by: JoAnn

I rode mostly on the back of a bike in my teens but kept so many fond memories of the few times I rode solo. So after raising my children I started talking a lot about riding a bike again. My husband who had never rode caught the fever & bought a Honda Shadow. I fully intended to ride behind him. To make a long story short with his encouragement and my mother's discouragement, I now ride that Honda & he has a Harley. I got my license at 51 and have loved every scared mile I've rode. I try to ride safe but how much fun is life if you never live your dreams.

Apr 12, 2010
Don't quit living to avoid dying!
by: Anonymous

I am also 63 and just got my first bike. I took the motorcycle training at the local college last fall and got a new Yamaha 1100 Silverado this spring. Yes, I am scared to death, yes I could get hurt but my husband has been supportive so far. Yesterday in church we learned of someone who was killed in a motorcycle accident and my husband said maybe we shouldn't be riding. I told him, "We are all going to die someday and we can't quit living because we are afraid of dying". I hope cycling doesn't shorten my life but I'm definitely not going to quit living to preserve it.

Apr 12, 2010
Older Woman Rider
by: Anonymous


I am now 63, got my first bike at 58. My husband rides and encourages me. You can get hurt doing anything, nothing says you will.

Look for a womens group to ride with. The local bike shops usually know about all the groups in the area, just try asking around. If the shop is not woman friendly write them off an move to the next one. Check web to see if there is a "Sisters-in-Spirit" group near you.

Don't give up, sometime guys are just jealous because they can't believe we can do things without them. Challenge him to learn to ride and enjoy the freedom, the people and the friends you make. Life begins at 50

Apr 12, 2010
Congratulations on Your Achievement
by: emma


Congratulation on your achievement. I understand your excitement, I am 57 and just recently got my license it is to do something new and total out of the box (well at least many people think it is out of the box for women our age)I am having a blast. I am fortunate my husband rides and he was thrilled I wanted to have my own ride. I would be be extremely frustrated if I did not have his support and encouragement. I hope you find a compromise that will work for both you and your husband. Don't give up on your dream!!!

Apr 12, 2010
by: Lynn - SW FL

You got your license so I assume you are a safe rider and just need more practice. If you keep getting hurt (dropping the bike?) and don't see the improvement, you could also trade the bikes and get a trike. Don't give up on your dream!

Apr 11, 2010
by: ABG

There are soooo many things that could hurt you... I understand his concern but he needs to let you do this.... just go careful..take it easy and little by little pretty soon you'll feel good and so will your husband... believe me..and then you're on your way....My 'Baby' and I took it slow... and then one day I realized - I was blasting away on the highway with the best of them... Wishing you the best!! Shiny side up rubber side down...!

Apr 11, 2010
Injuries are all around us.
by: Judy

Has he taken the car away because you could get in a auto accident and be hurt? Did he take your shoes away as if you walk down the street you could get run over by a car just stepping off a curb?

You may fall down the stairs in your home if you have any and break your neck. Heck I cant walk because I over exercised and have a back injury . So if we all live with the "what if 's" then no one would do anything but sit around watch TV and get sick anyway from too much stupid input on the TV.

You folks need to sit down and talk. There are some skills courses maybe you can take. I find more saddle time just going around my neighborhood doing curves, hills is a good way to practice. Evaluate yourself and see what you need to improve on and how you can do it better. If you really want to keep riding, have a talk with your husband. You can get hurt anywhere!
Keep the shiny side up and good luck.


Apr 11, 2010
Join WITW!
by: Carol

Look for a chapter of Women in the Wind near you. It's a national organization for women riders. I joined the Toledo chapter last year even though I was hesitant about my abilities. The sisterhood of WITW has made me a competent and, more importantly, confident rider. They are encouraging, helpful, safe riding women and I only wish I had joined when I first started riding four years ago.

I agree that your hubby is probably worried about you but riding with my husband made me a nervous wreck so I was prone to mistakes and on the verge of panic all the time. Riding with women who have my back made all the difference. Now when I ride with my husband, it's different story. Just today, after we got back from a two hour ride, he said, "You've come a long way. I'm not worried about you riding anymore." Never thought I'd hear it!!

Apr 11, 2010
Really? He'd sell them?
by: Barb

Hi Annie,

You've got to be kidding! No, probably not. See, this is the very reason I've burned through two marriages: Man as Lord!

I guess that's not fair. He is probably just worried about you, but c'mon--you are a grown woman and get to make your own decisions. I'm 63 and have been riding since I was 15, and no one: husband, son, father, siblings, local cop--whatever: no one is going to stop me as long as I can swing a leg over a saddle!

My honest suggestion? Understand where he is coming from, but inside, get a little angry, and channel that energy into riding. You know how to ride. You have the bikes. The State says you can ride, you want to ride---so ride! If you get banged up a bit, that's not unusual; we all get a little road rash from time to time, it's just part of the game. If hubby persists, tell him to get on your other bike and ride along, so he can keep a protective eye on you.

And seriously---if someone told me I couldn't ride because it made *him* uncomfortable, I'd verbally whomp him like a rented mule! (Just my opinion, of course.....) 8^)


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