Making New Year's Resolutions for Your Bike

Resolution One: We, the Bike and Me, Will Lose Weight

Nope, not talking about that last ten pounds that bothers no one that matters - I am talking about all of the odd ball crap that is in our saddle bags. We chuck it in there during trips and then never clean it back out again. There are ketchup packets that are over a year old, for the love of spark plugs! This year, I vow that we will have a saddle bag purge session once a month or more.

Resolution Two: We Will Quit Smoking

Okay, there is a minor, mechanical glitch somewhere that is making a slight smoky haze to trail behind us. That is not right, that is not cool and that is something that we will rectify before the next long ride.

Resolution Three: We Will Quit Drinking

The motorcycle is supposed to be a picture of efficiency - sipping gasoline and motor oil like a debutante at her first kegger not kicking the fluids back like a trucker on Super Bowl Sunday. If you are filling up more than you should be, it is time for a little bit of investigation to find out why. This brings us to additional resolutions for the bike:

• I promise to tune you up before the first ride of the year and to promptly investigate any odd sounds or smells immediately.


• I promise to keep you gassed up and ready to ride all of the time.


• I promise to take you out on the first warm, sunny day of spring and keep you on the road until the last, warm, sunny day of fall.


• I promise to miss you when the weather is crappy and we cannot ride.


• I promise to visit you in the garage when we cannot ride.


• I promise that I will never park you somewhere dangerous, where idiot's can steal you, scratch you or touch you with greasy fingers. I promise never to let you get towed away because I did not read a sign.


• I promise that if I do get you towed, I will bail you out of cycle jail as quickly as possible, no matter what it costs.


• And I promise that no matter what, you will always be the one I tell all of my secrets to first.

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