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New Rider - Screwed up in class...lacking confidence.

by Jessica
(Monroe, MI)

Hi all -

I've wanted to ride since I was 11. B/F has ridden since 10 yrs old but hasn't had a bike for past 10 yrs (since I've been w/him) He got HD Night Train this summer, I bought a 1993 Honda Shadow VLX Deluxe, & we started making plans. So excited!

I signed up for a 5-day ($325) course but...I didn't finish & was crushed AND embarrassed. My grip gave out on the 2nd day of riding and I couldn't hold the clutch - swollen blah blah...excuses. Then I lost confidence/focus & screwed up on the throttle. After the instructor called me over, we agreed I should strengthen my grip over the winter, think about WHO I'm learning to ride for & come back early spring if I want to do it again. I never thought I'd be "one of those" people. It devastated me.

My b/f's friends all ride & the women do too. He took a refresher course this summer & commented on how well the women did - especially a 50 yr old he befriended. So...I assumed when I took the class I'd do well even though I knew it was gruelling. The will was there.

Since the class debacle, he & I have parking lot practiced. I do well after a period of "warming up" that he says I shouldn't need. I do figure eights, s-curves, shifting etc...got that down. BUT... I have SO MUCH TROUBLE making a tight right & increasing speed as I would have to do entering traffic. I over think it maybe - but I feel the bike will fall.

B/F is a good coach (when he's not getting impatient) - & has done all he can to show me how to lean w/the bike - tells me since I turn sharp & lean when I'm just riding in circles, he can't understand why I can't from a stop. It's getting to the point where I dread practicing - I just want to KNOW HOW TO DO IT! Now he's making me nervous & I get flustered. I feel like such a loser. BUT I cannot quit...I will not. Still, the tight right from a stop is a sticking point. I won't go out into traffic if there's a chance I will stall while turning - that could be disaster.

How do I get rid of this fear? How do I get confidence to do this?

I'm 5'2" and about 70 lbs overweight - but I see a lot of big people riding. My hand cramps up, but when I'm doing well/having fun - I forget about it.

Any advice from ANYBODY would be appreciated. My b/f is thinking I should be far more advanced by now (I've had a total of maybe 14 hrs on the bike). I just want to enjoy this more.

I love this site!

Comments for
New Rider - Screwed up in class...lacking confidence.

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Nov 22, 2009
 Safety Course
by: Anonymous

Be patient you can do it. But having your boyfriend as a coach is not good. Find a girlfriend. Instead of paying the high price for the HD course, sign up for MSF course only $25.00. The instructors are great and give you some confidence. Might try joining or getting in contact with the WOW (women on wheels)They do mentor. Best of luck
Oct 25, 2009
 Thanks for the Encouragement!
by: Jessica

Thanks for the continued encouragement. I will be signing up (in January) for an April or May class and am eager to get it right this time. I practiced a bit more after my initial post and feel more confident. Of course, I'll have to "relearn" everything before the class, but it should come back to me fairly quickly, I'm sure.

I'm glad you kept trying and were successful in getting your license! Enjoy riding and I'll keep you guys posted.
Oct 25, 2009
 Confidence
by: Anonymous

I too took a riders course and didn't pass the skills part. Where I took my course at failed to tell me before I got into the classroom to take the written test that I didn't pass the riding part much to my embarassment! It still bothers me after several months. That's a whole other story! I had never even cranked a motorcycle much less get on one and drive it! I learned the basics such as how to start, drive slow, where the "friction zone" is, etc. My husband bought me a used Rebel to practice what I had learned. I'm proud to say that just this week I took and passed the motorcyle test at our local DMV. So don't let your frustations get the best of you. Make sure you are feeling great before you ride because your feeling and emotions can affect your ride. I feel more and more confident each time I take mine for a spin.
Sep 28, 2009
 Relax
by: nerm_us

Well first I want to say Good Job on even getting to where you are now. Some would have already given up. Those classes are very informative but some times lack in other ways. The course was the same as the one my wife and I took and for me not so bad. But for a first time rider a lot to get even with 5 days worth. If you feel you need to strengthen up, do so. My suggestion to you is that you take as long as YOU need to get comfortible in the seat and YOU decide when you have reached that point when your ready to try the road again. If you have a learners permit, try finding some backstreets or sub division with not much traffic (Sundays are better) and ride the blocks and then turn around and go the other way. Just remember to relax and remember that you already have seat time. Have Fun
Sep 25, 2009
 Another Question...?
by: Anonymous

Hi Jessica,

I've never taken the MSF or any other course---they didn't exist when I began riding. So I can't really offer much in the way of advise there. However, I was wondering about something you mentioned about the clutch. A clutch can be a major problem for anyone with regular-sized female hands, right? (Right!) So it's very important that it be adjusted correctly, so it doesn't slip or grab, and also that (assuming it isn't hydraulic) the cable is well lubricated and free of kinks. It can make a world of difference in the amount of strength needed to operate the clutch. If you can't operate the clutch with two fingers on the lever, something isn't quite right. (Or you have an old Norton....one of the two!) They sell a little device to screw on to the end of the cable, and it has a little hole into which you can spray WD40 or any aerosol lubricant. It works miracles!

And honestly, when you don't have to worry about holding the clutch in or releasing it smoothly, everything gets so much easier!

Let's see--is the clutch lever adjustable? Is your hand in-line with your forearm when you are riding the bike, or is your hand bent up or down to reach the lever? Little things can make a difference, and if your hand is in line with your arm, you have a stronger grip.

One other thing: everyone drops their bike. Everyone. Sooner or later, the bike kisses the Planet, it's just some sort of law of Nature or something. Nothing to obsess about, but rather use it as a learning experience. And the gals are right: ditch the b/f during practice. He can't possible be objective, no matter how hard he tries. Two last things: First, you have nothing to prove to anyone but yourself. And secondly, it's supposed to be fun! Don't like right-turn take-offs? Avoid them and build fun hours of riding. You will feel better, and find yourself more ready to tackle that last hurdle!

Enjoy!

Barb
Sep 25, 2009
 Thank You All!
by: Jessica

Wow... I returned to the site this morning to find all of your incredibly supportive (and informative) posts. I can't tell you how much I appreciate the time you've all taken to share advice and personal accounts.

I spoke w/my b/f about things last night and repeatedly emphasized that this is something I want to do so we can have fun together next season but that it was first and foremost something I want to do for myself - and if that means it takes me longer than he expected, so be it. I'm not in competition with anybody - I just want to learn to ride.

Now...the next step is getting more practice, practice, practice & remaining calm and focused so I can feel what the bike is doing - trust the bike - and bring with me the collective strength of other women who have persevered - like you all.

I've read each post and will take your information with me on my next practice ride.

This is such a big thing in my life (maybe too big), so what you've all shared with me means more than you know.

I hope you all continue to enjoy riding and ride safely.

I love you guys! Thank you!!!

Jessica
Sep 24, 2009
 Beginner Rider
by: Judith

I empathize with you so much. I took the safety course one night and then did the riding part all in one day. During the riding part, I dumped the bike when I gave it too much throttle. After I did that, it was during the first part of the day, he had me get right back on and continue. Glad he did. However, I was scared and frustrated. I felt I was getting worse. The turning 8 part was very difficult for me. Our instructor let us do it and then picked out our best one to use. I did pass the test and get my DL389. I do not have a bike other than the Honda Goldwing Trike. It is not the same as a two-wheel. Your b/f might think you should be ready but that doesn't mean you think so.

Practicing a lot will help. I plan to do that when I finally purchase a bike, but right now I need to pay some bills so I have to wait. Even if I get a bike I will need much practice before I even attempt to go out on the highway let alone the street.

Practicing one day on a bike is not enough for me to run out and race around on a bike. I want to live a little longer than that. But I am excited to know I can do it. Yesterday I went and renewed my driver's license and took the motorcycle test at the same time. I passed both so now I am the proud recipient of my motorcycle license. I was so nervous on the first test I crossed out two right answers and made them wrong. If I hadn't done that I would have passed. I was able to take it again the same day and missed three, with again, one of them crossing out right answer for wrong. I was exhilerated to get this license.

I know this is long, but as the instructor told me, I was thinking too hard about what I was doing. He was right and I was able to overcome my fear after I dumped the bike. He told me I actually did a little wheeley. Bruised my ego more than anything. I think I was the oldest in the class and the rest were guys and one woman. Most were pretty supportive to me. I think that is important, you have to have support not criticism or living up to the other person's expectation. I think I surprised my husband that I did do as well as I finally did. Even riding our trike.

So hang in there and see if there is someone else who can practice with you or hire someone. I think someone else mentioned being able to go back to practice with their safety course. I didn't know if I could do that. Good luck!
Sep 24, 2009
 You're Not Alone
by: Jacee

I was in a class with one (younger) woman and a bunch of 20-something boys - and me in my late 50's. I'm also 4'10" so got the "privilege" of riding a little 250cc Savage (horrid little bike). And, yup, I dropped it in front of all the boys. I screwed up more than once.

But after the first day of actual riding, I went home and told my husband I needed a bike to practice before going back to the class the next week - so I hopefully wouldn't embarrass myself. So we bought a cute little Virago 550 and hit the nearest parking lot every evening after work.

Went back to the class the next Saturday and, yes, I screwed up some more, but I didn't drop the bike this time. I even screwed up during the test. The instructor let me do over (correctly) anything I messed up. I'm sure the instructor gave me a mercy pass.

He would not believe it if he saw me today (6 years later) riding a GSXR1000 sport bike! I do have my very patient husband to thank, however. He endured the heat out in many parking lots each time I got a new bike (this is my 3rd). He was an excellent teacher and very patient with me.

Get a rubber ball and squeeze it until your hand hurts - at least once a day to strengthen your hands. I do this every winter to get ready for the riding season.

As for the right turns from a stop - I had trouble with those also. After lots of practice (again in a parking lot), I learned to do it. The bike will not fall or stall if you give it plenty of throttle. Don't worry if it sounds like you're revving the engine too much - it won't hurt it. The key is to learn to work the clutch and the throttle smoothly, giving the bike plenty of gas so you don't stall and feathering the clutch so you don't lurch out fast and being careful not to dump the clutch.

A motorcycle is a gyroscope - the faster it goes, the less likely it is to fall over. Motorcycles are only unstable at very slow speeds.

Don't give up - you can do it! And make your bf sit in the car and read a magazine or something. You only need him if you drop the bike - he can help you pick it up. :D

BTW, warming up is a good thing - both for the bike (letting it idle until the oil is warm and up in the engine) and for you (going round and round the parking lot until you feel comfortable).
Sep 24, 2009
 A Light Bike Might Help
by: Quicklimegirl

You might look into trying to borrow and practice on a lighter, smaller bike, which will make maneuvering and turning much easier. Do you know anyone that has a small standard (like a Honda Nighthawk, or a older street legal dirt bike)? I think you'd be really surprised what a bike that's about 200+ lbs. less than yours could do as an instant confidence booster. Most Cruiser style bikes have a lower fork rake angle and longer wheelbases, which makes for slower, less responsive steering, and the relatively heavy weight also makes for slower chassis response (handling). If it's not financially practical to obtain or borrow a smaller bike, perhaps changing handlebars on your present bike to a different rise, height and/or angle might benefit you. It's difficult to learn if the ergonomics of whatever you're riding don't allow you to focus on just relaxing and dealing with all the peripheral issues involved in the process.
Sep 24, 2009
 Confidence
by: kenberlyc

Jessica, first thing is to not beat yourself up. We all have good and bad days. The only way to gain confidence and skill is to keep practicing. I have learned the more frustrated I get the worse I do. I have this tremendous hill leaving my driveway, and when I get to the top I have to either turn left or right. So I have to stop at the top of that hill. Well, you guess it...I stopped and when I started to take off I dropped it. I cried, I screamed, I cursed. I could not believe that I couldn't even get out of my own driveway. That incident messed with my head. I had the worst time getting out of that driveway...and the kicker is that I have ridden my bike EVERYWHERE. I have stopped at stop lights on steep hills and had no trouble.My point is that it becomes a mental thing. I finally told myself that yes, I may do it again. But one day I was going to kick that driveway's butt. And I did. You will overcome this as well. Keep going, and keep telling yourself you can make it.
Sep 24, 2009
 You Don't Have to Give Up
by: Rene L.

Hi,

I feel your pain. I've told the long version of my story a few times on this site, so I will give the shorted version here. At 52 years old I had only ridden on the back of my boyfriend's bike and was afraid to go on the freeway.

I decided to learn to ride, and with enthusiasm singed up for the MSF 3 day course. Aced the classroom portion and was raring to ride. I started out fine for about the first hour, then made a few mistakes and got frazzled. I was on shaky ground the rest of the day, but made it through. The next day I had forgotten a lot of what went on the first day and felt like I needed time to warm up. The instructor let me take a few spins around the track. Did not help. First on the agenda were figure 8's. I totally lost it. Thought I would drop the bike and could not get a grip. Both instructors agreed that I should go home for the day after only the 1st hour. I was devastated. After going home and licking my wounds, I decided that I really wanted to learn. Thank goodness the CMSF course allows you to come back free of charge until you pass their test. I adjusted my attitude, tucked away my ego and decided that I would go back as many times as I needed to pass and just considered the extra time more practice. It took my three tries but I passed. You can too.

It sounds like perhaps it might not be the best idea to have your boyfriend as your instructor. You might want to try the class again, but with an attitude adjustment : ). The good news for you is that you have a bike. After the daily classes you can go home and practice what you learned that day. I did not have a bike and thought this was a disadvantage, but I got through it. Learning to ride a motorcycle takes time, practice and a whole lot of patience. You can do it.

I have found this board to be a great place for inspiration and encouragement.

Keep us posted on your progress.

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